1. The precoital massage
As a warmup to the main event, start by
massaging the length of her legs, from her upper thighs down to her ankles.
Next, focus on the feet, kneading her heels and
all other points beneath. Then zero in on the toes and stretch them
individually. Bonus points if you finish it off by sucking on them.
2. Ask what turns her on
When in doubt, just come right out and ask what
she likes during sex. “Most women appreciate men who want to make sure they’re
satisfied,” . “If she notices you’re working hard to please her, she’ll be more
likely to return the favor.”
3. Focus on quality, not quantity
Improve the quality of foreplay and she’ll never
again bug you about the quantity. “If you act as if you’re just going through
the motions to get to the sex, she’s going to notice, and it will take longer
for her to get excited,” In other words, do what you want to do, and enjoy
it while you're doing it. If you like how her calves feel, stroke them in
appreciation. If you like her butt, kiss it. “When a man is loving what he’s
doing, it’s going to show through and turn her on, too,” says Perry.
4. Take it easy at first
Yes, the clitoris is the obvious place to focus your
attention. Still, many men do wrong by it. “Direct stimulation of the clitoris
can actually be painful,” . “It’s much better to rub the
clitoral hood [where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub along the side of
the clitoris than it is to go straight for the head of it.”
"The clitoris reacts best to
being teased, so you want to lick it and suck on it a little, build a little
tension, then back off on it a bit before going at it again,".
5. Expand
your repertoire
There are plenty of ways to expand
your oral sex repertoire, and you should always
be looking to add new moves and mix things up. For starters, trying lying
perpendicular to her body and stroking her clitoris with your tongue in a
horizontal motion, rather than up and down. She’ll appreciate the change in
stimulation, hopefully enough to return the favor.
6. Drive
her wild with the figure-8 technique
The figure-8 tongue technique is one
of the most tried and true ways to get things going below the belt. When you’re
at her service down below, work the supersensitive area around her clitoris in
a figure-8 pattern. Arouse her with gentle sucking until the little button
swells, then carefully expose the area with your fingers.
Use the slippery underside of your
tongue to circle it to the left and then to the right. With the rougher top
side of the tongue, flick from right to left and then up and down. Finally,
work up to figure 8s, alternating between your tongue's smooth underside and
firmer tip. Constantly vary the degrees of pressure you use.
Recommended Resource : Foreplay Video
Recommended Resource : Foreplay Video
7. Don't
overlook the labia
Oft overlooked as mere barriers to
the vagina, the labia are packed with nerve endings and shouldn't be ignored.
Hold each one between your thumb and forefinger and massage it, working your
way up and down.
Or, using all of your fingers and
your palm, “smoosh” the labia together, almost like you’re (gently!) kneading
dough.
8. Explore
her entire body
Don't just zero in on her genitals.
The body is filled with erogenous zones like her neck, thighs, and breasts.
“Genitals are fascinating and fun,
but try to spend some time focusing on your partner’s entire body instead of
going straight for her crotch,” says Cassie Fuller, co founder of Baltimore
sex-ed company Touch Of Flavor. “Try caressing, licking, or nibbling other
erogenous zones, such as her neck, back, ears, belly, or wrists.”
9. Don't
talk too much
Be careful what you say when you're
trying to set the mood and build arousal.
“Weird, clichéd phrases can cause
the mood to die quickly,” As a general rule,
keep dirty talk simple and personal: Pick a body part and tell her how sexy you
think it is, or describe a fantasy you have involving her." Then again, don't zip your lips altogether. “Women
want mental stimulation,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She
Comes First.
10. Pay attention to how she feels
Everybody is different, so make sure
you're able to read how she responds to what you're doing. It shouldn't be hard
to tell what's working, and to then use this information to keep a good thing
going.
“If she winces when you talk dirty,
move onto your next play,”. “Or if she’s really into making out on
the sofa, don’t try to move it to the bedroom.”
11. Pay
attention to how you feel
If you’re worried about getting off
too early during intercourse, try becoming more aware of your pre-orgasmic sensations.
Most men only recognize that last,
no-turning-back feeling, that occurs just before ejaculation, says David
Copeland, author of How to Succeed with Women. By
then it’s too late to do anything about it.
Try to become familiar with the two
or three more subtle sensations that precede that one, so that you can slow
down at the right time.
12. Don't
forget about kissing
Don't forget what got you here in
the first place.
“Women get their greatest erotic
pleasure from frequent, passionate kissing,” says Patti Britton, Ph.D.,
clinical sexologist, and author of The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your
Practice. “If you get the sense that she’s starting to lose
interest, kissing is always the best way to bring her back into it.”
Just remember that passionate kissing doesn’t always mean
frantically swabbing out her tonsils. Try to mix up your tongue play with the
occasional closed-mouth kiss on her nose, eyes, and forehead.
13. Reward
her bravery
When she initiates the action, make
an extra effort to please her sexually and to let her know how much you
approve. Tell her you loved how she got things going. Sometimes women wonder if
you’re going to perceive initiation as negative or if it might make you
uncomfortable.
14. Know
when to skip it
If you already have good sexual
chemistry, it's perfectly all right to occasionally skip foreplay.
“When you’ve been creating a larger
sexual context in your relationship, you’re basically operating in that [state
of foreplay] all the time,” says psychologist and relationship therapist Tracy
Thomas, Ph.D. "If you’ve been together for a while, you should know her
well enough to know when it’s okay to jump straight to the main event.
Women Share Their Foreplay Moves That Always Get Them in the "Mood"
Foreplay has a reputation as a warm up or lead in to sex, the appetizer to the main course—which is intercourse. But maybe it's time we stop thinking about it in such an old-school way. After all, only 30% of women can reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina penetration alone. It's the moves we typically think of as foreplay—clitoral stroking, deep kissing, and oral sex—that bring most women to the heights of pleasure.
With this in mind, we want to encourage women (and their partners!) to take foreplay way beyond a kiss here and a touch there. To inspire you, we asked real women who consider themselves major foreplay fans to tell us the specific move that always fires their desire . . . and serves as the main event itself. Here's what they revealed.
'Touching tongues gets me aroused instantly'
“I love a good makeout sesh! It's simple but it works every time, and touching tongues gets me aroused almost instantly. If there's a little neck and ear biting and licking added to the mix, that's amazing, too. When my partner and I engage in this kind of foreplay for long periods, it gets me really excited for sex; the anticipation factor builds up my arousal and his, too. It can sometimes be even more pleasurable than the penetration itself.”
'Nipple action drives me crazy in the best way'
“I love when my partner sucks on my nipples—nothing too hard, but when I’m already turned on a little, it feels like the sensation is doubled. It drives me crazy but in the best way.”
'I want to hear what my partner is going to do to me'
“I’m a very verbal person, and I want to hear what my partner is going to do to me and how I turn them on. That usually starts through texting and escalates when we’re together in person. An ex of mine used to say the most detailed things to me: 'I’m getting hard on the subway just thinking about us lying together naked again' or 'I miss your ass, your hair, and your lips so much.' Once they started talking dirty, I felt safe enough to verbalize back how sexy I find them and how much I want them.”
'Feeling skin rubbing together gets me going'
“I love some good dry humping. I know that sounds so gross, but something about the anticipation of sex and the sensation of clothes and skin rubbing up against each other gets me going.”
'Oral sex always makes me orgasm'
“I used to feel weird about my boyfriend going down on me, but now it's a regular part of our foreplay routine. Straight up penetration doesn't quite do it for me, but oral sex always makes me orgasm. We do that first, so I'm close to an orgasm when we start having sex. That way, we're both set up to (hopefully!) orgasm. Added bonus: There's no real need for lube when oral sex is part of the foreplay equation.”
'I love giving in to a fantasy'
“My favorite foreplay move is giving in to a fantasy. My partner and I used to pretend not to know each other at a bar. Acting like we were strangers was thrilling and really turned me on. It’s also nice because I knew I was safe, since I was with my partner. Giving in totally to the fantasy made for the best sex; I think the anticipation of it all is what was really hot about it.”
'His wanting to please me was a big turn-on'
“The best foreplay I’ve ever had was when I was passionately kissing a partner on the bed and he got up, pulled my body to the edge of the bed, and started preforming oral sex on me. I ended up reaching orgasm faster than I ever have before. I think it was the combination of roughness, wanting to please me, and him being completely confident in what he was doing.”
'Giving and getting pleasure is the best foreplay'
“My favorite move is being at his side and performing oral sex on him while he’s fingering me at the same time. It gets both of us off, so that’s the best kind of foreplay for me. I find giving while getting to be insanely pleasurable."
No comments:
Post a Comment